Cultural Differences and Life Lessons

I apologize for not updating my blog since October. When I was home visiting for the holidays I received numerous complaints about my blog laziness so I'm going to give a brief update to catch everyone up.

In October I traveled to Buenos Aires with 5 other volunteers to run a marathon and I finished it! My time is nothing to brag about but I did finish before they closed the course and recieved my participation medal and a very cool, orange running shirt. The first half of the marathon went great, I actually made really good time for a half marathon but it was the second half that did me in. Starting at mile 16 I began to understand why most people don't sign up for things like this. I began walking a lot at that point and would alternate between walking a few minutes and running for 10 min or so. Around mile 20 the mile markers seemed to come few and far in between. My legs were burning with pain, the bottoms of my feet felt sore and I realized I was way too hydrated. I was having to stop and pee a lot and there wasn't always a bathroom nearby so I was getting really good and jumping behind bushes. My running partner was also struggling with her ankle and some asthma related breathing problems. We agreed we didn't care if we made a good time anymore and decided to take it easy. We just wanted to make sure we didn't collapse on the road before we got to the finish line. We motivated each other but there weren't many people out on the streets to motivate us. It was a rainy day and pretty cold so the spectators decided to stay home. Not only were the streets empty but the route wasn't that impressive. We only went through one interesting part of town and ran past the casa rosada (like the white house) and the rest of it was running past airports, past docks and on the freeway. Buenos Aires hasn't figured out yet that a marathon can be a big tourist attraction if the route was more appealing. The city wouldn't close down the touristy streets so we didn't get to run past all the sites. Luckily, this was my second trip to BA so i had already seen the sites. At mile 24, Sarah and I weren't even capable of talking anymore. We had both zoned out and were in survival mode. We kept seeing things in the distance that looked like finish lines but it was just our eyes playing tricks on us. As we ran past abandoned water stations, we wondered if we would ever make it. We realized we were close when we saw lots of people with starry eyes and ice bags on their bodies hobbling to the parking lots. I wanted to be done and do the same. People began cheering for us and trying to motivate us to hurry up to the finish line. Part of me was grateful for their support but part of me wanted to throw something at them and tell them to shut up because i was going as fast as I could, at a sort of walk/hobble. We picked up our pace a little but were still passed by an 85 year old man with knees that looked like they were falling off his legs. Then we were passed by "pink hat lady" who had sped walked the entire marathon. She was always catching up to us and we realized her speed walking pace was about as fast as our running pace. After they passed us, a 40 something year old man from Southern CA passed us and gave us a high five when we crossed the finish line. We found our friends, who most had finished more than an hour before us and we took pictures, stretched, iced and then made the painful journey back to the hostel.

For the next 3 days, we could barely walk or even get up from a chair. When all was said and done, i lost two toenails, injured one ankle, gone through two pairs of running shoes, consumed more sports gu and gatorade than I could stomach, and ate more food on a daily basis than i will ever be able to eat again without gaining 50 pounds. It was an awesome experience and a great personal achievement. I've only run a handful of times since the marathon but i am starting to miss it so plan to start running again, as soon as the weather permits. It's just too hot right now to conceive of doing any more physical movement than necessary.

In November I finished up a lot of my work in the schools, since summer vacation started at the end of November. In December, I enjoyed the start of summer vacation, attended good-bye parties for friends that were finishing their service in Dec and prepared for my visit home. I flew home the 19th of December and spent the next 2 1/2 weeks catching up with family and friends. I enjoyed spending time with my family in CA and in Arizona and visiting Cincinnati, Ohio where I will be attending grad school after Peace Corps. I ate a lot of Mexican food, marveled at the grocery stores and had to learn all about new technology like "Wii" video games, "blueray" DVD players, and "bluetooth" cell phone adapters. I felt like cars were moving really fast, roads were amazingly smooth and abundant, houses were big and well built,and the infrastructure just blew me away in general. I kept looking at things the way I do as a Peace Corps Volunteer in a foreign country. I was assessing the resources available, the locations of things and mapping out the cities in my head. "wow...that's a huge public library, the post office actually delivers things to your house, youth sports league sign ups are this week...how cool that kids can be formally involved in things like that to learn about teamwork and self esteem and all the things I try and promote in Paraguay with youth...." My mind was constantly comparing the differences and while part of me was shocked at how different my two worlds are, it was also surprisingly easy to just slip back into my routine and American culture. You can't live in another culture for two years and not be changed by it and I know that I have changed in many ways but it was comforting to feel so at home so instantly again. The thing that is difficult if not completely impossible to realize without living abroad is that Americans have their own, unique culture and I found myself observing Americans in the same way i first observed Paraguayans upon arrival, as if i was an anthropologist or something. Culture is such a strong influence on the way people live and develop and interact with one another. I discovered I have become totally adjusted to Paraguayan culture and often times felt like a foreigner in the U.S. I wasn't sure how to greet people anymore. In Paraguay you either give a kiss on the cheek or you shake everyone's hand in the room. If there are 15 people sitting in the room, you go around and shake 15 people's hands. I tried shaking hands with several people and sometimes was given a funny look or a very weak handshake. In Paraguay indirect communication is used so that you don't hurt someone's feelings or appear rude. So, in Paraguay if you don't want something instead of saying "no" you say "thank you". If you don't want to do something or go somewhere you say "maybe i'll be able to go" or "I'll go later" The other person based on how you say this will understand you are not going to go or don't want to. This was confusing for me at home because I often didn't realize that someone was telling me the truth when they said "maybe" and they actually ended up wanting to do what they said "maybe" about. I also found myself saying "maybe" to people or "i'll call or visit you later" and never had any intention of doing so and probably seemed flaky. In Paraguay the indirectness is so bad that my first few months in site, i never knew what was going on. I would tell my host family that i was going to go give a lesson at school and while they knew school had been cancelled that day would smile and say goodbye to me. I would arrive at the school and find it abandoned and return home confused. "there's no school today, it appears" I would say to my host mom. "Yeah, today is a holiday, there's no school anywhere" she responded. "why didn't you tell me that when i was leaving?" She would then stare blankly at me and smile. I discovered that a Paraguayan will never tell you you're wrong about something for fear you might feel embarassed, so they just let you figure it out on your own. It drove me insane at first but now i understand how things work and i know how to find out what i want to know and i know when someone means what they say. I can tell when a "yes or maybe" means "no" and when a "i'll be right back" means "i'm not coming back". It's a funny culture but I realized American culture is funny too and the fact that I'm now influenced by both makes me a really funny person. Even though my travel time was over 20 hours to get to the states, I only read a few articles out of a magazine but spent most of the time observing other people, or relaxed, inside my own head, or often times not thinking about anything at all. I didn't have an mp3 player and while i had plenty of reading material found myself just absorbed in watching my surroundings. I realized this is a totally Paraguayan behavior, to just sort of sit and stare at what's going on. On my flight I saw an American family and watched as they played cards, read and traded multiple magazines, talked loudly, watched movies on dvd players, used laptops and kept busy the entire flight. If someone didn't have something to occupy their time, they became extremely bored. I wondered if i had lost some brain cells in the past two years because i wasn't bored at all and could have stared at the back of the seat in front of me for 12 hours and been content. I know I've learned to be very "tranquilo", to be patient, and let things roll off my back. When one of my flights was cancelled on my return, i did not join in the ranks of overly upset people who made the airport staff have a bad day. I just went with the flow and waited for my options and everything worked out. My luggage did not arrive when i arrived in Paraguay but I didn't freak out. It arrived 3 days later and nothing was taken out of my bags.

While there are many things I do not particuarly love about the culture in Paraguay, I have learned from Paraguayans many valuable life lessons. Life is not a race. Life is happening right now and needs to be enjoyed. You can't control everything, but you can control how you respond to it. Laughter is healing, family is important, and food made from scratch tastes better. Sharing food or drinking from the same glass doesn't make you sick and isn't gross. Cars and roads, good education, health care and jobs are not universal but music and humor is. A country's history and things like geography, climate and natural resources shape a country's culture and lifestyle. Climate especially effects how productive a person can be during the day and the future of the world lies in children's education. When there is a lack of education, there is little hope for change. Everyone, regardless of age or language loves a good song and dancing. Everyone thinks it's funny when someone trips and falls and enjoys a good sports game. These are the things that bridge our worlds and have gotten me through the past two years.

I am looking forward to taking these life lessons with me and apply them in a country and culture where opportunities are abundant, hard work is rewarded, transportation doesn't involve waiting hours for buses, diversity and thinking outside the box isn't out of the norm, and people are encouraged to question, discuss and form their own opinions. I am looking forward to continuing my service and fulfilling the Peace Corps' 3rd goal by sharing my Peace Corps experience with people back home. I am excited to return home and also sad to leave this life behind. I only have 12 weeks left now and just attended my Close of Service Conference. We were given information and instructions for finishing our service and making our exit. I have a lot of reports to write, medical exams to do and signature to get from staff. In addition to taking care of the Peace Corps stuff, i need to spend as much quality time as possible with my Paraguayan friends. I need to throw a goodbye party, give away a lot of my possesions, pack and prepare my site and house for a potential follow up volunteer. There is much to be done and I want to make sure I do it all so I don't have any regrets. I'll try to share as much of the next 12 weeks as possible.

My last day of Peace Corps service is April 24th and while most of my fellow volunteer friends are going to use their re-adjustment allowance to travel around South America, I will be flying directly to the States at the end of April. I plan to use my re-adjustment allowance, (which is only $6,000 a number that hasn't changed since the 1960s) to help me re-adjust. I will hopefully be starting my one year master's program in social work in the summer quarter at University of Cincinnati. I already have housing ready for me in Cincinnati since I will be moving in with somebody I met in The Peace Corps, who is from Cincinnati. We are very lucky to have a great, affordable house to rent from a relative. I am excited to start this next chapter of my life, after Peace Corps. I'll be flying directly to Ohio but will be visiting CA in mid June and will hopefully be able to visit as many of you as possible. Thank you for all your support and for keeping up with my life abroad over the past 2 years.