Life is Fragile

Yesterday I got up at 5:00 in the morning to walk about 5k to another volunteer´s site to help out with her winter camp. I did an activity/lesson on self esteem and had two groups rotate through my activity. It went really well. I cut out a big piece of paper and made a sad face out of it. All over it, i wrote insults such as "you´re ugly, you smell, you´re stupid, etc" Of course all in Spanish. I had the kids read them out loud and then asked them "is Fulano, happy or sad right now?.....why is he sad?....are these things nice things to say or mean things.....?" Then, i tore off the pieces of paper that had the mean things written on them and handed them to a few kids, I even went on to say how now Fulano was an incomplete person, etc....I had the kids write on the other side nice things to say to Fulano and then we pasted him back together and when he was taped back together he was smiling because his self esteem was higher. I then passed out blank pieces of paper and had the kids draw themselves and write words or draw symbols of things they liked about themselves around their body. At the end of the activity we got in a circle, held hands and i had them say something nice to the person on their left.
As most teachers probably know....things never quite go excatly as you planned.

First of all, Paraguayan school systems teach kids to copy and not to think creatively or independently (this goes hand in hand with the many years of dicatorship which one day I´ll write a blog on). So the kids loved the fact they got to color but they pretty much copied my example. I drew a tree on mine to symbolize my love of nature and all the kids had trees on theirs! I drew a big heart on my body and they all drew big hearts on their bodies! I was still happy they all shared their drawings with each other and understood the message of Fulano...that you shouldn´t say mean things to people and if you do, apologize and say something nice!

It was even more amusing to watch them compliment each other. This is a very indirect culture and Paraguayans are not used to saying things to each other bluntly. My example to another volunteer was "i think you sing and play guitar really well". Yet, all the kids gave the same 3 compliments. "you´re nice, you´re a good person, or i like your shoes". It was still really great to see them saying these things to each other and overall the camp went really well.

After the camp we had lunch with Ellyn´s host family and then we went to the house where the puppies were. I picked out my puppy amongst 5 very tiny cute little creatures. When i say tiny, i mean smaller than you would ever take a puppy home in the U.S. The mother is not feeding them anymore and they are all full of fleas so I know the puppy was better off going home with me but i still felt it was way too small to be separated from its family! We had just come from a house where there was another litter of pups and two had been thrown down a dry well (the mother would not have been able to nurse them all anyways but yes it´s still horrible) so i didn´t hesitate to take her home. She is dark brown with white feet and a black face. I can hold her in one hand! I carried her in my jacket all the way home and she slept the entire way. I noticed the fleas crawling in and out of her furr and bought some flea shampoo. When I got home, a volunteer that was staying with me last night helped me bathe her. We spent two hours getting the fleas off of her and I still don´t think i have gotten all of them off. I have never seen so many fleas on one thing and she is so small. The poor thing looked so miserable she actually fell asleep when we were picking them out of her furr. After she was clean I fed her some milk and she fell asleep in my arms. I was starting to feel pretty good about saving this little girl and giving her a better life. I shouldn´t have congratulate myself so soon!

I handed her to my friend and then went to my bathroom. A few min later i heard a thud and a very frightened voice that said "oh no....oh no....i think something is really wrong" I came out of the bathroom and saw my puppy lifeless with her tongue sticking out, not breathing, with no hearbeat! I stared at her for a moment, feeling for a pulse and said "she´s dead!" I couldn´t believe it! Turns out my friend had placed her on the bed, turned her back for a moment and she fell off and died. I immediately put my mouth over her snout and started giving her CPR. I administered breaths while my friend pumped her heart. After what seems like forever...she finally took a breath and continued to struggle for life for several minutes. We were successful in reviving her and she still seems to be doing fine. It was a terrifying, yet beautiful experience to witness. I am being extra over protective mom with her now. I can´t wait until she gets fatter and bigger so i don´t have to worry about her so much. My friend feels terrible, yet we were able to actually laugh about it later. I will forever be able to give her shit for it when I want. I said if people ever say you look like someone killed your puppy i can say "well, someone did".

I named the puppy Pilsen. That is actually one of the two main and only brands of beer here in Paraguay. I thought long and hard about cute names in Spanish and Guarani and English and decided Pilsen was a perfect combination and universal language of all 3. I think it´s actually a German beer. I know I am an Urban Youth volunteer and should not be having children repeat a name of a beer when they call my dogs name but Paraguayans appreciate the humor in it and crack up every time i tell them the name. In this culture humor works extremely well with the integration and I am reminded that here no one will get offended about it. The same day I brought my puppy home my family found another puppy in the street and brought it home. They are thinking of keeping it and naming it Brahma the other main beer in Paraguay.

In one day I experienced enough accomplishment, joy, stress and sorrow to last me for awhile. I have my winter camp this afternoon and hope nothing comes close to death afterwards.